Being a programmer myself I know quite a few good jokes about ... us.

Every week I'm going to post a good joke I made up about programmers (every Thursday to be exact).

This week's joke is:

What does a programmer get when he needs a handkerchief?

Code:

Fatal error:
Failed to retrieve required handkerchief

You probably won't get this joke if you aren't a PHP know-it-all yourself. But it refers to PHP's require() function. If you request PHP to open a file that doesn't exist or it can't open, you'll get the following error:

Quote :

Fatal error: require() [function.require]:
Failed opening required 'just_a_file'
(include_path='.;C:\php5\pear')
in C:\home\website\test.php on line 5

Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Why do programmers use Euros or pounds to write how much something costs? Because they don't want to turn the money into a variable!

(PHP variables is defined by a '$' sign )

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”

To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”


I Got this one!xD

Quote :

Fatal error: Function get_a_life() does not exist or is unknown at index.php on line 5

A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem.

The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination."

The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive."

The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem."

Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."